CSI-Pennsylvania

There was a hit and run accident on the farm this weekend.

Here’s my version…which varies somewhat different from the version my youngin’s are sticking to.

Friday night, we were finishing chores and supper on the farm when the neighbor showed up to visit a spell.  Our neighbor, Tator was out joy riding on his John Deere 70 because he had just put in some new plugs or some mechanical term that I did not understand. It was a nice night out so we were standing around outside shooting the bull, because that’s what we do around these parts.  Plus, Tator really likes to talk. He was talking about the weather, farming, his tractor which he just had completed overhauling to get more compression or something like that, his father who got wrapped up in the PTO shaft while grinding feed and is still in the hospital, more farming talk, more tractor talk… and we just listened. Because that’s what you do with Tator. He’s a good neighbor so we don’t mind.

The youngin’s decided to take the John Deere gator out for a spin while Tator was talking and we were, well… listening. It was dark.  It was the first warm spring night we have had this year so far and it was Friday night which meant the youngin’s were wound tighter than a hydraulic winch. This is a proven recipe for disaster.

What happened next is from the investigative report that Cranky and I were privy to. We heard a very loud thud and crash.  Cranky immediately went into some type of cardiac arrest or at least, that’s what it seemed like. I swear that Cranky was so hot, bothered and angry that I thought for sure that I saw smoke coming out his ears. Tator immediately got on his tractor and got the heck out of dodge. He did not want to be subpoenaed as a witness for any of the crimes…the one that had already happened or the one that might happen next.

Here are some of the crime scene photos.

A hit and run involving the a sheared off post where the farm mailbox used to stand. (The culprits somehow missed the neighbor’s mailbox.)

The ATV vehicle which suffered considerable damage. It was covered in mud with a broken ty rod and a twisted front axle (which Cranky and my daddy spent all day Saturday trying to fix).

And here are the perps…

They sure look like shady characters, don’t they?  Don’t let their innocent little faces fool you. They are bad eggs and belong in a juvenile detention facility. Trust me.

When I arrived at the scene of the crime, I saw eight legs spread out on the ground looking at the damage to the axle of the gator.  I heard my second son, who is a mechanical genius tell his siblings, “Holy Shit! It’s really bad, guys.”

The next conversation that I overheard was my oldest, the foursome’s fearless leader say, “We need to focus and get our stories straight.” Nice…I have taught them well.

After surveying the crime scene, we set into motion their farm detention program.  Most of the time, Cranky and I will use corporal punishment for their offenses, but they were expecting this tactic so we switched up and tried something new for their punishment. 

We made them use the post hole diggers to dig a new hole for the mailbox post and then, they had to install the post and put up a new mailbox.  After this they were not allowed to do anything they enjoy doing on the farm. This includes fishing, catching frogs in the swamp or playing in the creek.  They are also banned from anything motorized; the gator, the 4-wheeler, or their motorboat, indefinitely. Looks like it is the shoe leather express for the youngin’s these days.

They also had to personally apologize to their grandparents for shearing off their mailbox. This hurt the most because Granmum and Pops are the ones who the youngin’s can count on when life gets rough but this time it was tough love from their grandparents.

The only good thing that I can say for the youngin’s and their unfortunate criminal incident, they all took the fall together. Not one of them would rat out the others and they all stuck together. Cranky and I still can’t get it out of them who the driver was.  So, as much as I was disappointed in them for their stupid and careless federal offense, I secretly am so proud of them for their loyalty to each other. I’m not sure how this got turned around that I am proud of them for their devotion to one another but I’m sure not telling them this information anytime soon. 

Nice…I taught them well. Even though they are little juvenile delinquent thugs.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “CSI-Pennsylvania

  1. Yes, sounds very framiler. So many things are done here by someone named “Idon’tknow”. He has a buddy “wasn’tme”. Wish I could catch those two.

  2. Great story! It is one of those things we can laugh at now and you will be able to laugh at in about a month. I love the “lets get our stories straight”

  3. “Focus and get our stories straight” PRICELESS! It is a great story and I especially love how they are sticking together. That will take them through the years together as siblings, wonderful!

  4. Gee I wish my mother had been more like you! Too funny.

  5. Hopefully they won’t be grounded till they’re 30. Very funny stuff!

  6. Hmmm… I wonder where they learned all that….

  7. City Slicker

    LMAO!! You know my boys would have been right there with them!

  8. LOL LOL LOL – This was TOOOOOOOOOOO funny and being from a farm I KNOW your humor and experience is GOLDEN BABY!!! LOL LOVED THIS POST>>>>>

  9. It looks like it was fun anyhow!

  10. Great story! I can remember trying to focus and get our story straight far too many times.

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